Wait - so flies are deadly to soldiers, but maggots are good for them? And why is it so hard to find a donor for a genital transplant these days? Mary Roach, author of “Grunt: The Curious Science of Humans at War” comes by to reveal the weird scientific secrets of the battlefield. And speaking of troops, the aunts come marching in again - we’ve got more auntie stories! Thanks to house band Casey Bozell! Listen at paulapoundstone.com or wherever you get your pods! ... See MoreSee Less
That's why the rest of us sleep on beds, Paula. We're already halfway up!
The trick is going to be not falling out of bed
The older you get the more difficult getting out of bed is. Eventually just being able to get up and out of bed and then actually do stuff is in itself a miracle.
You could then have someone do your hair and makeup before you wake up.
But that’s - that’s - brilliant.
Echoing above ... that’s what’s great about a bed. And mine is on risers. If I had to get up off the floor every morning, the neighbors would hear my agony. I’ve often wondered how you don’t see the advantage when you travel. Or maybe you sleep on hotel floors, too?
I would just fall over.
Better for the hair too
It will get easier after Wednesday. Trust me. 🥰❤
Your feet need sleep too you know
I feel you..
A suggestion that works for me. I take my shower at night and put on the clothes I plan to wear the next day. That way, when I finally manage roll out, I am ready to head out the door. I am thinking of marketing a line of clothes designed for donning the night before., lol.
The penultimate Press Conference of French Trump is here! Listen at paulapoundstone.com or wherever you pod.
Reporter: A number of your cabinet members have resigned, citing your involvement in instigating the attack on the Capitol. Some news outlets are reporting that you are feeling isolated. Are you?
French Trump: Those Cabinet members were never on my side. I just threw them some crumbs. Imagine fucking Betsy DeVos resigning on “Moral grounds?” Do you know that her name is actually Betsy Vos? The De stands for her school grade average. And Mitch McConnell’s wife, Chow, Chow? She doesn’t have a moral bone in her body? She is married to Mitch McConnell, for Christ sake. That’s why I chose these assholes. They are corrupt as the year 2020 was long. I chose them, so that when I cheated, bilked the taxpayer for money, and tried to amass more power for myself, they would not say anything.
I am not isolated, you fuck wad. Why, just last night Toby Keith stopped by to visit moi. Next question. ... See MoreSee Less
I highly recommend a podcast: Sounds Like Hate, made by the Southern Poverty Law Center. It tells a lot about the White Power movement. It's sad, and scary, and if we don't recognize the problem, it will destroy us. ... See MoreSee Less
Great story and so true.
Love your Lucy and Ricky!
From Jamestown NY, home of Lucille Ball.
Amen and hallelujah Paula!
Thank you Paula
Paula that was Great! Love it! & Amen! Those were the days. ❤
Love this. Love you
Love this! Aunt Nancy will be so proud to be the spark of democracy for our generation! Nancy Ross
I love this post. - Maureen from Natick but really from Southborough, but the poor side.
YES! And yay for Mrs. Ross!
Great logic. Now can we get politicians to listen
Wonderful. Thanks Paula!
Very well said, Paula!
I love this!
Hugs to a real American
Thank you! Clear & simple! 🎉😘
You have a way of putting things into perspective. Thank you for your common sense. It's too bad that grownups can't resolve what children can by simply being fair and honest. Love the tie....and the hat. Miss seeing you in person. Love and hugs....oh....and take care of yourself and stay safe.
I love Mrs. Ross and her gift of a social tool to y’all ❤️🗳✅ oh, and whole Ross crew is also quite outstanding!
Much love and thanks sent to you, Paula Poundstone.
I always suspected that many never grow up past about the age of 10. Good points paula.
We know that contact tracing is vital these days, but how does it work? Who’s doing it? Well, Dr. Marta Induni, for one! She’s the Principal Investigator of the PublIc Health Institute, and she’s here to tell us how she’s tracking us. Plus: Bring a warm plate of your best facts— it’s our first Potluck Info Party! Thank you to house band, Jay Clanin! Listen at paulapoundstone.com or wherever you get those pods. ... See MoreSee Less
I hadn’t realized that Jesus had gone missing. 🤷🏻♀️ Good to know. 😁
Jesus is tattooed on his back.
Let’s hope he gets to meet Jesus very soon.
His credibility is a little suspect though, given the convictions and acceptance of guilt.😏
Original author of the "STOP THE STEAL" campaign. When is STEAL a noun?
Stone really didn’t find Jesus. What happened is the police found Jesus tied up in the basement of Roger Stone’s house, and Stone claimed he found him that way, and just stored him in the basement for safe keeping.
Stone was going to post something on Facebook, but got distracted by a cute kitten video.
It was really the kittens’ fault. They were probably work for antifa.
He "found" him behind his legendary $40,000 shower curtain.
If Jesus was hiding from, maybe Stone should've taken the hint!
Oh yes, good to go to the next trump rally, yes still..https://www.vox.com/22215120/trump-stop-the-steal-protests-downtown-washington-dc-electoral-college
So weird cuz we lost Jesus!
He must want to jump on the money making Christian band wagon.
I didn’t realize that Jesus was lost. Thanks Roger, you can climb back in your hole now.
Yet another posturing “Christian”.
He found Nixon first.
He’s good to go to hell!
I guess Jesus is more forgiving than me.
This Jesus person needs to work on his hiding skills.
Sometimes, I just get scared. I wonder what the dinosaurs might have been thinking at this point in their journey. They probably thought, "If we don't wake up, Trumpasaurus is gonna make us extinct." ... See MoreSee Less
I wish I could make you laugh like you make me laugh, Paula. Your comedy helps me calm down. Remember to breathe.
Did we wake up yet? Are I here? Where are I?
Where is that Delorean time machine when we need it?
There's alternate universe in which President Bernie Sanders just got re-elected.
I think we have stopped the Tinpot Tyrant but it was close and there will still be battles to be fought. I predict more than 1000 of his associates and supporters in prison.
Keep thinking about all the smart strong women in the new administration. We got this.
Due to the ReTrumplican Party... America has to go through another “Reconstruction”... ☹️
Paula thank you for keeping me laughing all year! Love you!
ooooooh, Look Roger, a Comet!
I’m still hiding under the bed. Did 2020 end? It did? So how’s 2021 this far along? Eww… Already? It just started!
Let me know when it’s 2022.
Have any of Trump's followers bathed or shaved since he got in office? Well, other than the Florida Man who just got arrested for stealing the Speaker of The House's lectern. They at least shaved him for his mugshot, I noticed.
Wow, think about that sentence for a minute. Florida Man stole the Speaker of the House's lectern.
2021 saw what 2020 did and said, "Hey y'all. Watch this." I wanna go back to 2019. As bad as that year was for me, at least it wasn't...THIS nightmare that won't end.
I wish my aunt was still alive. She could at least tell me what to do and what is going to happen. She was Army Intelligence back when women were WACs. She knew this kind of stuff. I don't. I'm just watching and hoping with everyone else that things will settle down.
Will they though? I want the 90s back. I hate the future. Take me back to the 90s someone, please.
The new ice age is coming and here we are with a generation who knows all the words to LET IT GO, so it's gonna be rough.
I have been saying for years the human species is de-volving...
I often think about what life would be like today if the Democrats actually got us Universal Healthcare when they had a Super Majority in Congress rather than getting their plan from the Right Wing Heritage Foundation and Mitt Romney
And then I think about how Democrats have a Majority in Congress again and wonder what other Right Wing think tanks they're going to get their legislative ideas from this time
French Trump is back this week - take a listen before he gets kicked to the curb! paulapoundstone.com or wherever you get your pods.
Reporter: You told the insurrectionists that you were going to march with them. Did you?
French Trump: It was a mile. Are you crazy? I take a golf cart to the bathroom, for christ sakes. I'm not going to walk a mile. Besides, they are not clean, those people. I'm not going to walk with them. That's not the kind of cult leader I am. Let Charles Manson walk with them. They are furry, and they smell. I could fart right near them, and they would not even know it.
I like to be with people like Dianne Feinstein. I fart near her, she at least makes a face. Next question. ... See MoreSee Less
I surely have won the prize for the most HuffPost refreshes in one morning.
THANK YOU, GEORGIA!!!
Stacy Abrams is a real peach!!
I’m so very proud of my home state!!!
Proud of my blue home state! 💙
Its pretty amazing. I love seeing McTurtle get demoted.
Sweet Georgia Brown sings the blues🎶
The dark clouds are dispersing and soon we will see some light. This is nothing short of saving democracy.
Now if we could just get rid of the human turtle, Mitch McConnell!
One of your biggest fans is so proud to be a Dekalb County Georgia voter.
Thank you 🙏 Trump for successfully helping Democrats win the Georgia elections and control of the United States Senate.
May we all be happy, juicy Peaches!
Georgia the entire USA owes you! Make sure you to collect!
Has Perdue lost yet?
Not so perfect right now... the hell mouth is wide open in DC.
Union sez Hold my meth pipe...
Thank you Georgia voters. Vote thise racists out and send them back into the dark.
Well that Euphoria lasted less than 5 hours... the rumptumpers are breaking into the Capital. Oh my, stay safe America, even those who incited this chaos. They turned off their brains to follow a mad man and now, sadly, they are lost.
If we can get those nuts out of the Capital Building.
In a world where people can’t congregate, what’s a live performer supposed to do for a living? Tim Lo, founder of Your Next Jump, helps Paula and Adam polish up their resumes. Plus: Our 1st “Mailbag!” of the New Year. Thanks to house band Cory Springhorn! Listen at paulapoundstone.com or wherever you get your pods. ... See MoreSee Less
If Paula runs out of money she can come live with me for free, except she'll owe me one good laugh a day. I've got two spare bedrooms, but unfortunately, she wouldn't be able to bring her cats, so I guess I'll have to get my laughs on Wait Wait ...
When will the new movie "A New Year's Carol," the one about Ebenezer Poundstone, come out?
Happy New Year😆
Happy New Year😀
Happy New Year🎉
I can make a video message for your friend, loved one, or the co-worker you are missing while working fom home. "I'll never complain about looking at pictures of your kids, again. Oh... I didn't complain, before? I meant to." Go to www.cameo.com/paulap33... See MoreSee Less
I can say because I received one that you do a fabulous job!!!
I had one for Christmas 🎄and it was really amusing. I was thrilled.
My man had you do a cameo message for our anniversary! It was the best!!!!!! Thanks for helping us celebrate
When I watched the New Years Day performance on PBS (minus the crowd), I used an applause recording at the end of each piece as inspired by Wait Wait Dont Tell Me on NPR
Paula did an excellent Cameo for my husband's birthday. It was like a private audience with Paula! Highly recommend.
My sister got one for me. Best gift ever.
Paula did two for me for our friends. Both were hysterical and our friends loved them!
I got one of these for my wife's birthday. Best birthday present ever! Thanks, Paula!
PAULA POUNDSTONE delivers! That reminds me - I need to tip her and post the video - she’s the coolest 😎💕
You did a video for my for my (adult) son who has never asked for anything for Christmas, just an experience or memory. It was awesome and he was smiling all day. You definitely gave him a great and hilarious memory. Thank you!!
Paula, I have this cat that needs a good talking to...AND all my Pop
Tarts are missing!
Paula did an amazing Cameo for my daughter’s birthday. She went above and beyond the call of duty!
Great idea, Paula! Can’t do the auditorium gigs, so, personal ones, instead. Brilliant!
Absolutely loved my cameo from Paula!! She was so sincere and hilarious and it made a wonderful gift to my sister!!
We loved our cameo. Thank you Kerry Fowler and Jan Gray. From Jenell and James!
The video you did for my sister-in-law was wonderful! It was funny, touching and personal.
The video you did for my birthday was AWESOME!! I cried I was so happy to see you!!
are you still a million in debt? if so i got some good news
I even managed to dress and shower sometimes
I did that a couple times and once I even put real pants on!
You kept us laughing, Miss Nancy and Joan of Arc! Thank you, and Happy New Year!!
I remember that time I showered back in September. I can still feel the shampoo suds in my hair. 😊
And someone in the other room whispered She insisted on getting up! Lol! 😂
Got to feed the cats...... 😄✌️♥️ Happy New Year.😊🎉
So far, you already accomplished it in 2021! That’s assuming, you got up today 😉
Happy New Year! Take Care and stay safe.
Happy New Year!
I loved your exercise with pets videos!
You and your partners in crime made The Nobodies laugh many, many times in 2020. It was an amazing accomplishment. Thank you so much!
My personal favorite single podcast moment was the time in which Captain Crinkle used the word “lubricant”, and you couldn’t stop laughing. It was unbridled joy.
Your achievements made us laugh throughout the year. You even gave us an exercise video. Enjoy the first day of the new year. Being around nature helps too.
I decked the halls big time. Putting it away is still up in the air.
C'mon, I heard you win on Wait, wait, don't tell me. Gotta be at least as good as getting up??
You still found ways to make us laugh...that's the most important thing anyone can do!! Thank you!
Happy New Year Paula
I successfully retired!! And happy, happy new year, Paula!
Love your podcast! When you referred to the vaccinations I want to get your thoughts on this (from a Dr friend of mine) -
Not that there isn't enough to talk about Covid and of course we are ALL sick and tired of this evil bug but I was doing some back of the napkin Asian math with the current vaccination rates.
If we vaccinate 1 million people a week...that counts for 1/2 million full vaccines as all the current ones are a 2 vaccine series. that means that each week we vaccinate fully 1/2 million a week. that is the equivalent of 26 million a year and to get to herd immunity we need to get to about 260 million Americans which means it will take TEN years to reach herd immunity.
AND this assumes that the vaccines that are given provide long lasting immunity If the immunity only lasts for 1 year then we will just be vaccinating the same number of people every year and will NEVER reach herd immunity.
Even with Biden's plan for 100 million vaccines in 100 days, that's 50 million completely vaccinated people in 100 days and in 1 year that would come about to about 175 million fully vaccinated people in 1 year which is still short of herd immunity - at this more ambitious rate perhaps herd immunity will be reached in 1.5 to 2 years.