Brain Sediment

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May 29th, 2:10 pm


Yu cannot ezcape moi! Eet eez I, French Trump! Check out my Weekly Press Confer-ance! At or wherever you get your podcasts! ... See MoreSee Less

Yu cannot ezcape moi! Eet eez I, French Trump! Check out my Weekly Press Confer-ance! At or wherever you get your podcasts!

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Russian President would be accurate...

The details on the seal are tres fun-ny!

May 29th, 10:06 am


Sometimes I just can't type. ... See MoreSee Less

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Well, sometimes I just can’t!

Happens to all of us, especially on phones.

I shirley know that feeling!

Completely understood. (((Socially-distanced hugs)))

I can usually type better than I can talk.

Believe only half of what you see.

Sometimes there are no words to type.

one letter at a time

But can your hair?

Hit the little microphone button and speak the words instead of typing.

I totally get it. It's Friday. Take some time and just enjoy a cat snuggle or a walk with Mo the pod puppy.

Join the masses. <3

But, you go ahead and do it anyway. 😅


And sometimes I can't read. What are the odds that you will be able to type on the same day as am able to read. Although, in truth, my ability to read should be subsequent to your ability to type or I will have nothing to read.

sometimes you just know whatever you say will fall on deaf brains. I have no more in me today and my heart is just breaking, yet again, over this great American Experience. The island of Tristan is looking, once again, very fine

I know 😥

Welcome to the club.... 😀😊✌️

I can’t even ......


Not sure how to take this.

I can, but I am having major computer troubles, complete with many of the keys on my keyboard not working right now. I keep procrastinating on sending it off to be repaired. All of my friends live in my laptop and it is going to be hard to live without them for that long. I'm not ready for that yet. I no longer have a colon or semicolon or percent sign without copying from the Character Map. So, Character Map copying, it is.

Sometimes I can't stand seeing or hearing

This is an unbelievable time. While I try to find joy in the day, today makes it difficult.

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May 27th, 1:06 pm


I am so sick, and scared of the injustice towards black people. ... See MoreSee Less

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Me too, Paula. Me too.


It is maddening.

Agree - It's just so sad !!

Unleash the dogs on the Orange Facilitator...

It's so sickening that we have to still deal with this in 2020! We are all human beings damnit!

Me too.

Me as well.

I agree



We white people need to stand up, stand by, speak out. Enough is enough, arrest them now.

Me too. It’s appalling.

I'm with you, Paula!!

Agreed 💯%

I was just thinking the same thing... Something needs to change!

Me, too. It's exhausting for me but I can only imagine how horrible it is for people of color. WTF is wrong with us!

I grieve.....

It’s horrifying. And it keeps happening. If it wasn’t for cell phones, we wouldn’t know about many of these awful cases.


It’s gotten worse,it makes me so mad!


Right with you!!!

So am I. They must live in constant fear.

No words for this.:(

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May 26th, 12:20 pm


Jesus, now their are "aggressive rodents." Can't the Murder Hornets go after them? Can't they lose their jobs? Can't they wear masks? Can't they suffer some odd emotional problems from not having haircuts? ... See MoreSee Less

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Rats vs. Hornets

I love you so much

Aggressive, cannibalistic rodents of doooooooom!

Ot the could don Trump hats, carry guns and protest that they have rights to eat wherever they want.

YES. Of all the disturbing headlines, that particular one is giving me (extra!) nightmares.....

Rare. We can still keep our focus on the human threat from the White House.

The aggressive rodents are interested White House and capital building

You are a gift during the pandemic. There is so little to laugh about, but you always cheer me up.

Aggressive rodent is a great description of tRump.

*there* 😇😆😊🥰

Going after them would certainly give the Murder Hornets something to do.

Could it be that these rodents are just a little POd because they’re not finding much food in fast food parking lots?

It’s the passive-aggressive rodents that really annoy me. “I don’t suppose anybody around here would have any cheese, probably nobody.”

I thought those were just NYC rodents. Are they pretty much all aggressive? I missed a news story, obviously, lol.

What’s next? Spiders? I’m leaving

Love you Paula, it's "there."

What’s next aggressive butterflies?

They are just hungry Paula.

I've known about aggressive rats for years. I called them Republicans.

It's because they can't worship at the bowling alley of their choice.

I know. It is like waking up in a bad 50's black and white sci-fi.

Stuff nightmares used to be made of.Now it's 24/7

There you go with the there, their, they’re again.

There are, grammar queen. ❤️

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May 26th, 6:59 am


Does Paula have the tools to be a play-by-play announcer? Jason Benetti, voice of the Chicago White Sox joins our Career Corner for an intensive bullpen session. Also, we’ve got listener show descriptions! And Paula’s half the woman she used to be... Thanks to Cory Springhorn on the trumpet! ... See MoreSee Less

Does Paula have the tools to be a play-by-play announcer? Jason Benetti, voice of the Chicago White Sox joins our Career Corner for an intensive bullpen session. Also, we’ve got listener show descriptions! And Paula’s half the woman she used to be... Thanks to Cory Springhorn on the trumpet!

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Paula did an awesome job last week with her baseball play-by-play with celebrities.

I don't know. Paula is always entertaining but sometimes the facts elude her.

My goodness, being cut in half (self inflicted), may have given her an edge!! Working use of mouth and face...waist up camera..the other half can just WALK IT OFF

No doubt at all

I look forward to Paula's baseball special!

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May 25th, 8:44 am


TODAY! At 3pm EDT today, I will be inducted into the @SiriusXM lineup of stand-up specials on Comedy Greats (Ch.94). Both SiriusXM subscribers and non-subscribers can access Comedy Greats for free through May 31st as part of their streaming access period.
For more information and to start streaming, visit
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Bloody well time, if you ask me. . And even if you don't.

Laughing so hard at one of your Stephanie Miller Show appearances. Happy Memorial Day and bless you for rescuing cats. We thought we were crazy for having six of them. Glad your cat leader is a woman.

Of course! You’re one of THE BEST at timing & improv with your audiences! Brilliant! ❤️😂


Jesus, it took long enough - should have been in there long time ago

Oh wow. Thanks for the heads up. 😀

I'm listening right now and they just advertised Phone Soap. Is that really a thing? Right now, I am not sure what might really be a new thing. People are finally wearing masks where I live. I'm getting giggled at less by adults and children alike for wearing a mask if I have to go out. I wish I had bought stock in n95 masks. Yes, I have to ask if phone soap is a real thing. Someone has managed to make a brand new product out of this? I would not doubt it. I almost want to go check the web site, lol.


You are awesome! Loved listening to you today!

Comedy Greats- that’s you! Congratulations.


Love you Paula!


I hope both halves of you will be inducted. Congratulations!!!

Well deserved!

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May 24th, 12:19 pm


Paula Poundstone Butt Burning Video is now available. By the way, I'm sore just from making the video.

For more laughs or to leave a tip, visit:
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I enjoyed your book! Write more 🙂

Ok, I’ll be doing my butt crunches going forward thanks to you, Paula! My fitness guru! 😜🙏🏼 Namaste!

Love Paula SO MUCH!!!

Great book!!!!

Looking forward to the fitness video!!

BWAHAHAHA! Love it! The only way I don’t actually throat punch people is by exercising every day. I’d say it makes my life AND others life’s better... 🤷‍♂️🤣🤣🤣🤣

I must have missed the link because when I Googled "Paula Poundstone Butt Burning Video" something came up but I don't think that's what she wanted me to watch.

Great news. I've been wondering when your fitness videos would begin, though I think you could probably make a full length film about litter boxes and their maintenance - and there are people who could benefit from your wisdom.

Denise Lazorik Brummer Parman

You are looking like quarantine agrees with you! Looking good Paula! Can’t wait until you come back to Maine

One of the best books!!

I understand you can also hold your stomach in for an exercise.🤔 I've been meaning to try it.😉

Please write another book

Love you Paula!🤣🤣

Funny! I’m doing it right now too!

I do this already and laugh at myself yet it is rewarding...😊

"Trepidation" would be a great addition to the vocabulary song, except that Paula clearly already knows what it means.

That's a good tip! You could also sell this technique to office workers who sit on their butts all day!

I started it recently and it’s great! Charlie Stickers is enjoying as well.

Love u. Good to see u chugging along like the rest of us 💙

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May 22nd, 2:08 pm


Herellllloooooo. Eet eeez I, French Trump! My Weekly Press Conference eeez here.
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Herellllloooooo. Eet eeez I, French Trump! My Weekly Press Conference eeez here.

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I don’t get it.

Love her but this just isn't funny to listen to.

May 21st, 2:30 pm


If you need more stuff to laugh at, go to
and laugh it up, Fuzzball.
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Oh wee kitten, and it is orange <3

You need to start posting some cat videos, lord knows you have enough to stage a feline version of Le Miz!

Thank you! Hope you are well!

I knew there would be a cat in that hat.

Oh I love that suit!!


They must inspire you to do some great kitty joke too.

Love that suit !!

I LOVE the spider on the apron in the Rhonda series. I love spiders. 😊

Is that number 16?

Love the flashy fuschia Zoot! Enjoyed hearing on one of your Nobody podcasts how they evolved for you.

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May 21st, 12:02 pm


Shit, I hope there's a parallel universe. I could go to a time when I had never seen "The Dick Van Dyke Show," and "Breaking Bad," and watch them fresh. Plus, I might only get three cats. ... See MoreSee Less

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I would like to be the same small, compact size I was when The Dick Van Dyke show was that I could fit into the little cupboard that I loved, because I wanted to be like Richie.

How many cats do you have? Six in this household. I honestly didn't do it on purpose!

Even 1 cat will make you believe you are neglecting to give it all the attention it deserves. That’s their job.

Never on the three cats 😂🤣🤪

Heck, rewatch them anyway. I’m on my fifth or sixth time through “Are You Being Served?” and they still make me laugh out loud. And you could always give away a few cats. Selfishly, we like having you in THIS universe.

Hey the lockdown and me being a stand-up has made me watching too much comedy I know you bits better then you now. Ha ha.

Thanks for starting your sentence with the same word I always do. I mean, I feel like we’ve bonded 🤓

Also, you could go back to the blissful time before we had Trump as president! 🥳

3 a time. Cat ownership transcends dimensional divides.

3 cats ???????! !!!!!! I had 37 at one point .the more the merrier !

Paula, you will never only get three cats, no matter what universe it is. 😁❤️🐱

Watch Better Call Saul - it helps the BB ache.

Let me know when the transporter is ready for us.

ooo. K...... 😊✌️🇺🇸

And Ozark!

A Comedian's Head Writer who makes meth on the side might make for an interesting show.

Three cats...hell only one. Cat box cleanup is brutal....and thise midnight bathroom surprise squishies between the toes??? Oye!

The parallel universe you doesn't want to share her life.

In a parallel universe you’d have dogs 🐶

I'm on my 3rd time of West Wing!

Take a watch at QI (Quite Interesting) from the BBC. I think you would like it.

In the parallel universe, Walter White is played by Nicolas Cage... and it's AWFUL!!😸

The Dick Van Dyke Show is heaven! Please convey to him how much joy he has brought to the world! 💞

It’s funny to see this today, as we chose to watch old Dick Van Dyke Show episodes last night. A thoroughly enjoyable way to spend an evening ❤️

A 3 cat timeline is sadness.

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May 20th, 7:27 am


Dear 2020, If you can't behave any better than this, you can go to your room. ... See MoreSee Less

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Right???? Ffs.

And as our mom used to add "and THINK about WHAT YOU'VE DONE".

I think we all would have failed the question when asked in 2015, where do you see yourself in 5 years? Right?

I believe most of us have!

Smack it on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper if it does it again.

Return to sender.

To top everything else crappy about 2020, I broke a tooth and now need a crown. Can't wait for this year to be over already.

It feels more like we were all bad and Mother Nature sent US to our rooms.

And stay there until you’ve thought about it!

2020, you’ve been warned.

You tell it, Paula! 2020 is just out of hand. Someone needs to put it in its place.

I keep thinking of all the material you’ll have from a this Paula!! And “ You get a mask and you get a mask,etc”!

It's not helping that you haven't been on Wait, Wait.. what's up with that?

2020 when referring to vision means we see clearly. I think this year has made us look at our lives, our values and how we treat others. It has been hard to see the truth. This has been a painful year to witness politicians act so hateful, to see the greed of some people hoarding products, to see the unsanitary way we live, to realize our vulnerability. But on the other hand we have seen nature return to a healthier state. We have seen enormous kindness a generosity. We have seen resourcefulness and resiliency. And we have seen the heroes all around us. People like you Paula lift our spirits and this helps us through this difficult time. I find myself more thankful than ever in spite of dark times.

We all have to write 2020 off as a lost year.

Yes! Thank you for the super funny cameo message! My seeeeesters and I loved it!

Personally, I think mother nature was just giving us all a BIG time out to consider our behavior!!

Needs a good spankin' that's what's needed

Actually that was quite funny from Paula for a change lol.

It was aliens that was spreading the virus around, just like the Spanish flu in 1917

In the future, we’re just going to pretend the last four years didn’t exist. “Yes, Bobby, you had a question about 21st century American History? Very good eye! Yes, there was no 45th President of the United States. The 46th president comes right after the 44th. What happened in 2016? Absolutely nothing. Nope nothing happened at all. Nothing to see. “Now, don’t ever asks again.”

In hindsight it'll all be clear. 🙂

We are already all in our rooms. 🙁

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May 19th, 2:05 pm


Hello Thousand Oaks, CA! The Fred Kavli Theatre's primary concern is the safety and well-being of our patrons, staff, and artists. For this reason, and within the guidance and recommendations of local health officials, my June 26th show has been rescheduled to February 5, 2021.

Your tickets for the June 26th show will be honored then; no need to get a new ticket. If you are unable to attend the rescheduled performance please contact your initial point of sale for a refund.

I miss you. I love you. Be safe.
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You're good human.

And don’t forget to support Paula on Cameo. I bought a birthday greeting and it was the hit of the...well, her entire life! Go to This is not a paid advertisement for Cameo, just one for Paula (you know how she hates to self promote) and I’m not getting paid either.

Tickets can also be exchanged for the Adan Felber/ Winnie Feinman production of LOVE TEXTS at the Herschel Bernardi Theater in Connecticut.*

I was just thinking today as I was listening to ‘Wait, Wait’ how much I miss your live shows. I have been seeing you a couple of times a year for the past couple of years and realized that your industry is deeply affected (as is mine as part of a children’s theatre company) by coronavirus. Here’s hoping you can get back to telling your ‘little jokes’ soon or to finding a way to perform remotely (lottery to be in a zoom audience for you to work off of and the rest of us buy tickets maybe?). Be well, be safe!

I saw you in January 2020 at the Veterans Theater in Providence RI. I feel so lucky to have been able to see you and not have had a cancelled show. At that time we were just hearing about Wuhan. Stay well and be safe Paula.

Oh Paula. This would have been our, I don't know, 8th...10th...12th time seeing you. You never fail to slay us. We are grateful for your head and the brain contained therein. Love you back, Christopher and John in Santa Monica, CA. 💖💖💖

Miss you n love back at ya

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May 19th, 7:51 am


Eye of the Tiger King. Should you be spending your isolation time binge-watching “The Tiger King?” The only reasonable way to find out is to hear Paula and Adam’s review of “Rocky III.” No, really. Also, you can bid on a stone from Rosa Parks’ shoe, and if that’s not enough.... MAILBAG! Thanks to house band Matt Butterfield on the oboe! ... See MoreSee Less

Eye of the Tiger King. Should you be spending your isolation time binge-watching “The Tiger King?” The only reasonable way to find out is to hear Paula and Adam’s review of “Rocky III.” No, really. Also, you can bid on a stone from Rosa Parks’ shoe, and if that’s not enough.... MAILBAG! Thanks to house band Matt Butterfield on the oboe!

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Hopefully your collective review of Rocky III isn't far off from my own - the absolute dud of the franchise. Regardless, A. love you any way, and B. Will not waste my eyeballs' energy on a split second of Tiger King.

Damn, I thought my “Bambi” guess was close...

I heard one or two friends talk about Tiger King and decided against it. I don't want to see animals treated that way. I've decided to watch El Barco (all 3 seasons) again. I will keep Netflix an extra month just to do that. I probably will never get to learn Spanish, but I can enjoy that series again. I loved it.

Can't wait to hear the review. I'm betting that Adrian can't top her "Only a pig would say that!" line.

Not me it sounded to creepy

I absolutely lost it when the audio clip from the film was played.

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May 18th, 10:35 am


Hello York! I am happy to announce a new date for my show at Strand Theatre at the Appell Center - Friday, January 29, 2021 at 7:30 PM

All current tickets will be honored at the rescheduled date. No replacement tickets are required. If the January 29 date does not work in your schedule, consider donating the value of your tickets to the Appell Center Emergency Stabilization Fund. Your donation would provide essential support during a time when our industry is shut down and the Appell Center is unable to host events.

If you need to donate, exchange or refund your tickets, please leave a message with the Appell Center Box Office, 717-846-1111 or and an agent will contact you. Exchange and refund requests must be received by Wednesday, July 1.

Stay healthy. I miss you.
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I am soooo there! It's my birthday and we already had tickets. I'm sad it's cancelled for June but so excited it's rescheduled for my birthday. Woo hoo. Happy birthday to me.

I'll be seeing you in Concord New Hampshire on December 13th

I need to keep checking to see if you ever come close enough to me that I can arrange to come see you. It'll be a lifelong wish come true.

Still sad I had to miss you last time around at Kent Stage. I had front row seats, but couldn't find a sub to teach for me that night. If I could have afforded to bring the whole class, we might have had a field trip, but alas...

May 17th, 2:26 pm


I'm having a hard time getting my day started, and I think it's because I'm just standing in front of this computer. ... See MoreSee Less

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It’s 5:30 pm here. Day started a long time ago!

I understand. 💙

Are you, though? Are you standing in front of that computer? Or ... is that computer sitting in front of you. Think on that for the rest of your day.

Do you know which day?

Still in pajamas. 😅🤣 My springtime pajamas!

Standing? Ooof. I'm worn out already.

Just repeat over and over to yourself, "I shall do by best. I'll get a lot done but not everything done and that is OK." (paraphrasing your post from yesterday)

Me too!

Rainy day here, watching Monty Python 😂

You just take your time Paula.

You crack me up Sister From Another Mother.

Paula, should you need a kick in the hiney, call me!

I heard you on Wait, Wait this weekend, and you were on fire, Paula Poundstone! Working from home hardly seems to have slowed you down. Perhaps you deserve a day off.

At least you're standing. Some days it's like when you walk into a room and can't remember why? I have days where I wonder why the hell did I get out of bed.

Went to a lovely park, hoping for a lovely walk. Damn thing was full of maskless and Clueless people

I woke up and have been saying I am going back to bed for a while now. I think a nap is in order. I slept funny. It feels like someone stabbed me in my upper left back. Today has been a no go for me.

Do your cats wear pants during this stay home time?

Well at least you’re standing. I’ve been told sitting in front of the computer all day is as bad for your health as smoking!

Not getting out of bed till 12 and playing on the computer till now...6:24...well ok not exactly playing. I had a phone call and a facetime and I baked oatmeal cookies but I feel like taking a nap. It's like being a teenager all over again. It's ok to do nothing sometimes. If you feel like putting on a show in front of an audience with interaction do a zoom with all us nobodies. I'll show up, love ya

It's okay. It's all good. Maybe release yourself from your "schedule" and just be. Maybe sit in your backyard next to a shady tree.

Standing though!

You're in Sleep mode, hit your space bar... lol

I think it's because it's 11:30 here and I'm still in bed.

Good your standing that's job one and done for me

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May 16th, 1:34 pm


Fred Willard was so funny, so unassuming, and so kind. I know nobody lives forever, but he has a place near the top on the list of people who should have. ... See MoreSee Less

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I only knew his public persona/characters, but he made me laugh so easily. He was one of the great ones.

“Wha happen?” 🥺

The world is a less funny place now. 😥

Flashbacks to Fernwood 2 Night! He will be missed.

He was great in Modern Family

- Fred Willard: Comedy's undisputed "King Of Cluelessness".

So sad to see him go

He mastered every role.


I agree 100%

Loved his humor! RIP Fred🙏

I think he was on Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman.

Yes, he sure does. The world has lost another great actor and human being. RIP.

I met him and Mary once, but once is all it takes sometimes to know how truly wonderful some people are. RIP.

RIP..and thank you for so many laughs..❤️

I agree. This one hurts a lot.

I hadn’t finished laughing at/with him yet.

He was so funny & versatile and he was hilarious on the podcast. Years ago he did a series of “comedy infomercials” for FedEx, which unfortunately aren’t available, but we’re immortalized in a remix by DJ Steve Porter -

He gave us so many hours of joy.

Such wonderful, dry wit! 💔

What an amazing life he gave us all. I first stumbled upon him via "Fernwood Tonight" with Martin Mull. I LOVED THAT SHOW. And pretty much anything he was in since. Nobody played a better Fred than Fred.

How much do you think I can bench press?

He had a brief, but hilarious appearance in "Best In Show."

Loved him. Couldn't agree with you more.

I felt I would see glimpses of him forever! What an actor.❤️

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May 16th, 7:57 am


You should do your best. You'll get a lot done, but you're not gonna get everything done. So just put that silly idea out of your head. ... See MoreSee Less

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You have no idea how appropriate this is for me today...thanks

It's a small step from there to getting nothing done. I've covered half the distance already, in fact.

Hi Paula!

Whew! I was just about to set some very unrealistic goals. Thanks Paula.

hell no daily lists to acomplish and I do may not be big ones but boom. Done

Getting a lot done is also a silly idea, which is long gone from my head. LOL

I'm at my best doing nothing. Win-win.

I enjoyed wait wait this morning! Thanks for keeping at it

I'm glad you said this. Makes feel like I'm not so alone.

AND -- it doesn't have to be perfect!

I set one goal a day any more and I keep the bar low. Today, it was I gotta go out and get groceries day. I dreaded and hated it and did it early before the really germy types with no masks woke up. One place didn't have my hot dog buns to go with my overpriced vegan chili and the ketchup I already had. I had to go to another place and go inside to get buns. It felt dirty, dirtier than any of the stuff the preachers, teacher and parents said was dirty back when I was a kid. I need a hazmat suit and an airlock chamber between my front door and my kitchen. The mask and gloves don't feel like enough now that it is too hot to wear my jacket any more. Then again, I was only wearing the jacket to keep germs off my arms and upper body. I never get cold. Either way, I feel like I need a Silkwood shower. Humans are germy. I don't like the humans getting near me. I am now a vegan and a germophobe. Those were long term goals. I have managed to achieve those in just a couple of months. Booyah!

I put together a bed frame yesterday with sooo many pieces. I had to haul myself up off the floor. Bump down. Repeat. Evey joint in my old body hurts BUT I DID IT and it's GOOD! I feel so proud of myself.

I needed this! You are officially my life coach.

Katy Conley some wise word from our Paula!

Thanks for the encouragement!

Failure is not an option. It is inevitable.

Wise words! I always try and remind myself of that, especially at work.

Oh, Ms. Poundstone, I love this quote. It is my philosophy. I once read an article someone wrote whose theme was, “Everything that needs to be done doesn’t need to be done well.” The push to be perfect keeps people from achieving, I think. Strive to be very good, instead, and pat yourself on the back for trying.

Thank YOU! I needed to hear this today! 🙂

great to hear you on Wait,Wait today5/16

My wise Dad had an expression...‘ just nibble away, pal, just nibble away...’🥰

mediocrity is underrated

This will be my mantra for the duration of "Safer at Home" and beyond.

As my t-shirt says, “Unleash the power of mediocrity!”

May whatever I do today be enough.

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