Brain Sediment
The rows are so close together on this American Airlines plane. I’m in 12A, and I’m actually spooning the guy in 11A.
Would love to have you on my flight!!
Still won't ever catch me getting on an airplane!
Right? A normal person can’t even move. I have to go on an extreme airplane diet so I can be small enough to cross my legs.
I hate flying because it's so crowded and I don't know how people who travel for work are not sick all of the time from it.
Reason number 580 for hating the airline monopoly.
And apparently that is, canning sardines! 😳
I'm gonna need a picture please. Lol.
Doing your bit for world peace.
I read that "Mooning" at first...
Oh THAT guy. Give him my love.
I’m jealous (of that guy) 😂🤣😎
What airline is that?
Hope he’s cute.
Spooning leads to ladling
My neighbor from Crescent Heights!! 🥰
I'd be thrilled to spoon you on a flight. 😁😉
Someone's happy tonight!!
Are there wedding bells in the future?
Uncompensated sex therapist.
Maybe ditch the shoulder pads?
Flying used to be luxury. Now, it's a Greyhound stuffed with surely staff & passengers.
May you both enjoy it.
Hey is that your phone or are you just glad to spoon me?
PAULA POUNDSTONE millie says hi  and safe travels!! 
They really do jam us in these days!
I’m about to tell ‘em in Glen Ellyn, Illinois.
What?? I wish I had known. I live near there. I need to be watching your travel schedule more closely. You could have done Wait Wait this weekend?
Make sure they listen! 💪
Where ,apparently, it is still 1973. Great retro find. Give ‘Em hell Paula:)
That chair isn't bad...we loved the show. I have a jar of Smucker's peanut butter on my shelf and my diabetic daughter uses Smucker's sugar free syrup.
This chair reminds me I need to go to IKEA.
Now that's a color! I could look at it 8 days a week.
I'm ten minutes away!!!!!
Oh shoot! I'm too late!!!
Looks like one of those chairs they have at the Social Security office.
Sure beats the previous one!
Hey PAULA POUNDSTONE where do you keep all of these chairs? Seems like a lot of inventory to cart around.
Not a bad chair. Looks new for a popular comedian!
Brat chair.
You were actually in the Belushi Perfomance Hall. Jim and John Beushi were locals. Thanks again from Downers Grove.
You’re lucky to have a variety of chairs wherever you go.
Woohoo
Yeah. That’s OK.
Sorry that I missed your College of DuPage gig!☹️
At least it's padded!!
Finally, a theatre that understands my work.
This surely beats that chair in LaCrosse WI! 😉
Heh... plus, it looks like the bathroom is just on the other side of that door. Soothing gray floor tile complements all that beige. And a stainless steel hand rail! Who could ask for anything more? 😉
Just in case you need a little nap afterwards. You put so much into your shows!
In La Crosse, we loved you!
And easy access to the rest room!
Pfft! There's so much floor to sleep on! 🙂
Nitey nite
Does cot have a fob to open?
Equity Cot. Shown yer Card to Use It. 🙂
I am I waiting with bated breath to see your chair in Glen Ellyn. We'll be there.
Hell. I bet I had to sleep in ten or more of those torture devices.
You tell um
Aaaah.
I’m about to tell ‘em in La Crosse, Wisconsin.
I've never seen a chair like that in La Crosse but the show was fantastic! Thank you PAULA POUNDSTONE!
Tough crowd , judging by the chair. They won’t know what hit ‘em! You are a laughing medicine show.
Awww, what a sad chair. I hope you have a great show.
Oh wow my hometown! I have seen you three times but never in LaCrosse. Hope they gave you a boat load of material to work with! Cheers to one of the funniest women on the planet!
We’d give you a better chair in Grand Rapids, MN!
Was fabulous!!
I so wish I could have made it to your show in La Crosse. I hope you come back this way again
Not a great chair
I hope you tell them a thing or two about comfortable chairs!
Looks like a tough crowd
La Crosse provides the La Croix of chairs.
This was the best chair that LaCrosse could come up with? Paula...give 'em the business! 😉
Looks like you're going to be interrogated!!
That chair looks really uncomfortable
I have family there and not surprised by the shitty chair
Tell 'em I said you need a cushion
You deserve better.
I’d say somebody ought to tell em in LaCrosse that you deserve a Way better chair!!!
They'll know you told 'em after you said it! Slay 'em!
That’s a minimalist chair.
ya need a comfier chair
Sparing no expense, I see
Lacrosse come on you can do better
Looking forward to you telling us in Cedar Falls, IA.
Looks serious…make ‘em laugh, Paula! ❤️👏❤️
Dear Donald Trump,
Daniel Dale said you lied 33 times during the debate. He said Kamala Harris mislead 1 time. That could explain why you got fact checked more. See? Your number was bigger. #hahahahadonaldtrump
And he was only live fact-checked 4 times. I'd say he got off easy with 4 out of 33.
He has the biggest numbers. The best numbers.
Maybe you could also explain to him why she seemed to know the questions ahead a time. 😝 😂 😂 😆
Trump and his followers are not Republican, they are MAGA, much like Mussolini and his "Black shirts" that terrorized people and brought him to power. He has hijacked the Republican party and we need to get it back again for a healthy political system. Republicans do not behave this way.
He won bigly for lying. Better than any lying you’ve ever seen before!
He has been very vocal, all of these years. There was no surprise that she knew how to anticipate questions. She’s not stupid!
He lied way more than 33 times. I watched a fountain of lies spew out of his nasty little mouth while his joyless grimace pretended to be a smile.
It wouldn’t have mattered if trump knew the questions ahead of time. He wouldn’t have prepared, wouldn’t remember what his answers were supposed to be, and would just sling a lot of mud, lies and invective. To paraphrase Mark Twain, he looks big, but if you take away all his lies, he’d be about the size of your hat. And if you took out the vitriol, he’d shrink away altogether.
Thirty three is much more than one!
You’re like the Toddler Whisperer, Paula!
Can't wait to see you on stage tonight in La Crosse!
He loves big numbers! Ha
Finally something Bigger
Ginormous 😂
And to think I once enjoyed your humor PAULA POUNDSTONE
I don't think he could hold those two concepts in his brain at one time. Maybe because they're pushed out by his concept of health care.
Remember, she still has to win the election.
“My lies are the biggest lies! Nobody tells lies like me! Beautiful lies! Everybody knows it!”
Vincent Flood is not a US Citizen but seems to be very obsessed with Kamala Harris and other people’s kids. You might want to delete and block him 🤷🏼♂️
Don’t ya just love it when some a-hole troll tries to slur Harris by calling her “Commie”? But they don’t say a word about the real communist Putin, because TFG’s always kissing his a$$.
There’s also this
Let's play a game! Let's play "Ignore the Loser"!
Another leftie 🤮 POS Harris is a 😈👿 demon a CURSE to America wake up dummy Trump 2024
In BREAKING BAD, Walter White had a bad chemistry student who trying to get his grade changed, told Mr. White, "I'm so into chemistry for like the concepts, I just think I might have the attention deficit." Same thing with Trump and the health care plan.
Well, at least the student knew concepts!
It is so disturbing that he has a following. I’m so disappointed in those people. I pray that they will see him for what he is.
Way to much credit to trump. He does give a damn about health care for other people. Concept or otherwise.
With all his “smartest” terrific brainiacs on his team why hasn’t anyone come up with even a modicum of a plan for a healthcare program?
To which Walter White replied: “Don’t bullshit a bullshitter.”
PAULA POUNDSTONE, Mel Brooks just announced he's voting for Kamala Harris...BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE A CAT! Can't you send him one?
Trump 2024 #trump2024nowmorethanever
But the only thing the orange menace is into is staying out of jail while stuffing his pockets with his donors’ money.
CEDAR FALLS, IOWA!
I'M COMING TO GALLAGHER BLUEDORN at Gallagher Bluedorn at University of Northern Iowa on Fri., Sept. 20. Get your tickets. Get your laughs.
www.gbpac.com
Iconic comedian Paula Poundstone is known for her smart, observational humor and a spontaneous wit that has become the stuff of legend. She regularly plays theaters across the country, hosts a weekly ...Falls…Cedar Falls. 😉
We'll be there!
Enjoy some corn.
So, if I fall + crack my skull , + the hospital asks about my insurance, I can assure them I have a health care concept.
Today my boss asked me if I hit my deadline, I said I have a concept. Thanks for the pro tip, trump! 😀
It was very clear that he is unable to do better than Obamacare. His own words “we will leave Obamacare in place unless we can do something better”. Well - he had 4 years to do something better and he didn’t. He’s also had almost 4 years to come up with a better plan and share that with the people. But he hasn’t.
I think the concept has something to do with using a wok and the ritual sacrifice of stray cats. At least according to reputable sources somewhere in Ohio. So I would be very careful when using that health care option.
Sorry I'm such a fangirl but you always hit the nail on the head!
I have the concept of being a size 2.
He’s had 8 years to come up with a plan. What’s the rush?
I have just informed the bank that I have a concept for paying my mortgage. It’s not as flushed out as my concept for how on earth to retire with no savings, but I’m working on it.
I’m gonna try that with AmEx. “I have the concept of a payment plan. Got it from a guy who bankrupted four casinos.”
When you have multiple concepts, you have choice. He's now pro-choice.
Yes, just tell them that it's a beautiful one, like no one has ever seen before, and they'll understand.
But did you really? Or are you just "saying" you have a concept? Cause last time you fell, you said you had a plan and ....nothing....
Today, 9 years after you started running, do you have a plan to replace the affordable car act ?
Made me spit out my coffee. 😃
I have a concept of being thin, rich, & young again.
Lol! Love it! You win the internet today Paula!
The last 20-years of the mysterious better health care concept.
He has many concepts!
Careful young lady!! We love you! 💙
Yes. Go with that. I'm sure it'll work.
What is a concept? Everyone has their own interpretation and clearly we need a theoretical explanation
No plan. No concept. It’s INCONCEIVABLE!
I had a concept, but I took a nap and forgot what it was!
And they have a concept of treatment
New Rule: You don't get to trash other people's concrete programs when after 9 years, all you've got is a "concept"....
Yup, let bundle up those concepts and head to the pharmacy.
Don't miss your October laughs:
NEW LONDON, CT
Garde Arts Cente—Fri., Oct. 4
BETHLEHEM, PA
Musikfest Cafe at ArtsQuest Center—Fri., Oct. 11
FALL RIVER, MA
Narrows Center for the Arts—Fri., Oct. 18
NORTHAMPTON, MA
Academy of Music—Sat., Oct 19
I don't know how all of those world leaders can be calling Trump while he's on the phone with all of those English professors.
I’m an English professor. Most of my students are Haitian. They don’t eat our pets.
Would love to see those Wharton School records of his! And get the names of those professors who think his economic plan is brilliant.
Think I got dumber listening to him.
Born & Raised in Springfield, Ohio … never ever would I thought my town would be mentioned on national tv… AND no proof of what they are saying is going on…
And from his *throne* no less. How does he manage between flushing ten, fifteen times?
If he's such good friends with Putin, then why hasn't he tried to work for peace in his own time out of office..where he would have more time to focus on the issue? Why does he have to wait till he's in office to do anything? He's not an activist. He doesn't care to make any situation better. He's "The Poor Me President'.
He wears a diaper. He doesn't have to sit in the throne.
French Trump must give a hand
Might be beside the voices in his head disputed actual facts.
They are among some of his closest friends
Frank Bruni in today’s NYT: “And isn’t Spot running because he’s afraid to end up as charcuterie?”
I so adore you.
Logans Act??
I also wish our nation’s most sensitive secrets next to the toilet & shared w/ppl w/o clearance had come up.
While rescuing his cat from being eaten by those illegals
😂
Bye, you Emporer with no brains.
In fairness, Trump only invited the Taliban to Camp David because Camp Snoopy is pricey.
Well, and it was also a problem that he thought the that some guy named “ Abdul” runs the Taliban. WRONG!
Cannot wait to hear this all on Friday night
Well, he is a cheap bastard!
The power company considered your plan for giving an electric shock every time a debater told a lie But the company concluded the grid couldn't handle it.
Camp snoopy is (was) free damn it, facts matter.
They came to Camp David to do recon on it. He's so stupid.
The Taliban refused to pay the prices at his hotels.
😂😂😂
Camp Snoopy required a cash deposit.
Hilarious!
Good one!
Please comment on all of this at your show on Friday! I cannot wait!
He probably gets a discount at Disney.
Lololol
Trump the Scientist… 🙄 #Voterizer #Vote #Blue #RegisterToVote #science #cat
I love this IDGAF era PAULA POUNDSTONE. Thank you for using your wit for positive change. I love you even more! 💛
They are getting big! (The kittens)
The best!
Allegedly, Project 2025 includes dismantling the agency responsible for the National Weather Service. And who can blame them when a Sharpie would be so much more economical.
If you change the path of hurricanes with a sharpie, certainly climate change can be erased with white out.
We definitely need scientists. Sanity first, or scientists can't help us. Yes. Scientists in government. Congress needs a crash course in Earth Science and the Climate Crisis.
🚨 She's Back! 🚨
The State Theatre of Ithaca, DSP Shows & WSKG Public TV & Radio Present:
PAULA POUNDSTONE
Friday, March 7th, 2025
Doors: 7pm Show: 8pm
Tickets go on sale FRIDAY at 10am: tixr.com/e/114788
🎉 Thinking about the best seats in the house? Consider becoming a State Theatre of Ithaca Member today and reserve your seats before the general public! Get more info here: www.stateofithaca.org/membership 🎉
Come to the State Theatre in Traverse City. You will draw enough people to do two shows!
Knock em silly Paula
We’ve got Denver Holt on the show. Who? Exactly! Owl expert Denver Holt is here to enlighten us all about everyone’s favorite avian apex predator. And if that isn’t a good enough description of the show, maybe YOU should try it. And you did. Yes, it’s a new round of your best Show Descriptions! Listen wherever you get your pods!
Christina
It is so fucking hot in my house I'm expecting Sydney Poitier to solve a crime tonight.
I commented on your post on Twitter yesterday but in case you didn't see it: Blackout curtains can be really helpful if a/c isn't an option. If they make the house too dark, you don't have to keep all of them closed all day -- just when the sun is shining directly onto the windows (e.g., the east-facing windows in the morning). A/c isn't possible where I am and my blackout curtains have been a lifesaver. I have secondhand IKEA Majgull curtains in one room and made my own curtains with a silvery lining that reflects instead of absorbs heat in another.
When I first read your post, I immediately heard the Perry Mason theme music in my head. That's how old I am.
We just opened our windows and let in the cool breeze about an hour ago. It's a cool 61° right now. Move up to the Bay Area, Paula!
Where are you? I’m in Fresno Central Valley California it was 106 here today! Thank God for A/C!
Come to Kaua’i. Pleasantly 78 and I’ve got a/c.
The guy in the diner didn’t do it!
PAULA got the motive which is money, and the body which is dead! (Chomping on gum while she says it)
Come to Michigan. You'll love it.
Ooh girl I'm in Silver Lake and I can't even walk to the Metro station without sweating 10lbs off before reaching it. I'm two blocks away.
In the heat of the night. Carroll O'Conner will show up as Archie Bunker
Santa Cruz awaits you.
Why no AC?
See you soon in Troy, NY
Did you move to Fresno?
They moved you to Mississippi last night?
So many of the younger folks have no idea what you're talking about!😂🤣😂
If he does then you are probably the ghost of your former self…
It starts out hot...but by morning the house is down to about 65. A few degrees warmer than I heat it to in the winter. Just a reminder...winter is coming.
Here in Atlanta we’ve already had two days of mild temperatures… low 80s… and are now experiencing what we like to call “Ha! Gotcha! It’s still summer!” It’ll cool down again, probably early in November.
Dear Donald Trump,
I spend a lot of time laughing at you. #hahahahatrump
Knowing that all these people think he's the new Messiah, etc. makes me very sad.
The dudes a joke. I can't believe anyone would fall for his BS!!! It is so sad!
I’m pretty sure I heard Melania laughing at him.
A woman I met in Amsterdam asked me how such a great nation as ours could ever elect that crazy man.
I can't wait to see Kamala wipe the floor with him tomorrow!
I’m laughing at the idea of so many people laughing at him.
Paula thank you for telling us you laugh cuz we laugh at him too.
I saw people laughing at him. In the library. Thanks Paula.
Well for sure he is a very bad joke on the country
We have to laugh to keep from crying. How does such a despicable person become a presidential nominee?
It is not just Americans laughing at him!
I’ve been laughing at his hair for years. How is he qualified to run a country when he can’t even run his own head?
My cats laugh at him, too
I'm an American living in Canada, and I can assure you that Canadians are laughing at Donald Trump.
He’s like the Emperor in the Emperor’s New Clothes. If I ever get within hearing distance of him I’m just going to point and laugh.
And then, there's all the other people that you get to laugh at him.
In my thunderwear this morning I laughed at Donnie Dimwit.
At him all the time and the mouth breathers he appeals to.
The scariest thought I heard is that the “least informed” voters will decide this election 😵
Shame on you for posting this kind of crap. I used to really like you a lot, but you have become a really bad example to everyone and are certainly showing the world your part in the evil of Hollywood. This does not mean that I am pro Trump or pro Biden or pro anyone. But you really should not exploit yourself in politics and engage in all of this nonsense that is causing hatred and division in our world. I’m very disappointed in you.
So ripe with comedic material for sure!!!
Can’t wait to see you laugh at him in LaCrosse
I love you
Funny. Not funny.
Hey Donald. When I think how much Melania hates you. I laugh.
I’m about to tell ‘em on Rockland, Maine.
One of your better green room chairs. 😊
Classy and cozy!
It was an awesome show. Well worth the three hour round-trip drive.
Oh, my! That is beautiful, and someone on Rockland, Maine went to great lengths to make you welcome!
OMGosh, you're in my neck of the woods. Rockland is gorgeous. I hope you get a chance to explore!
I love a glossy sit down and don’t get me started on this pillow- early American peace rally vibe!
Welcome to Maine!! Enjoy our fall weather!
That is a chair with some Yankee sensibility. Also it looks to be a more comfortable sit.
Modern with granny pillow. Nice.
I would buy that chair and the pillow. Beautiful!
Oh man! We missed it! 😣
Almost home, Paula!
That don't have cats
Posh chair!
Rockland!
Nice chair!
The Moroccan screaming pillow adds to elegance
Very nice chair 👌
Do you travel with Lysol?
🥰🙏💙💙💙🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲💙💙💙👍💯
Classy!
Speechless
Wow!! A pillow! Rockland Maine went all out!!
Now *that’s a lovely chair!!
Happy #caturday from Paula and Tonks!
love your hat!
It's so funny how they associate things like this and so quickly! When my dog is lazy and not wanting to get up, if you say ("do you want to go to McDonalds??), he prounces to his feet! lol
Caturdays are Wednesday and Saturday here -- that's when I rake 'em.
Sudbury, MA zip code
Yoda is in hiding (in the bedroom) - Vader just wants to know where the rebel base is …
“Who trains who?” 😬😂 And Siamese sure can YOWL! 💙🐈⬛
Protect the cats. Trump 2024. #trump2024nowmorethanever
They are coming to eat your cats PAULA POUNDSTONE
Yummy
Another Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone, the comedy podcast, to look forward to.
Delightful! Thank you for being a constant and sane and hilarious counterpoint to other life/world realities! Your kitten babies are sweet.
One of my favorite books as a kid, love the t-shirt, love the podcast!!
Oh my gosh I love that shirt. ❤️ Harry ❤️
Wow....a three kitten rating!!!! 😁😂😁😀😍
If me or my loved ones are ever killed or injured in a mass shooting, please honor my wishes. begin crafting legislation to end this gun nightmare that day. Please do not honor victims by making more victims.
…and everyone around you will breathe easier as well.
100% Say it with me:”It’s the guns!”
But Paula I’ve got some real valuable thoughts and prayers! Won’t that help? You don’t have to answer that.
There is a mental health nightmare not a gun nightmare.
Paula’s a far better person than I. I have made it clear to my family that if I am killed in a mass shooting I would like my ashes to be thrown in the face of every congressperson who voted against gun control.
What no one is talking about is the fact that there is something very wrong with young boys in this country.
Tragic accident link is spoof or phishing. Admin needs to take it down.
Insanity.
Why did the f. B. I. Do nothing when they knew about this family?
What is really inside the brains of people who think they need these awful weapons for protection? From what? You could never get to your weapon in a sudden attack. I think its bullying and nothing more. I despise bullys.
I wonder whose child has to die before Congress does something? Rep. Scalise himself was shot but he keeps accepting that NRA campaign $$$$. In fact he’s one of the biggest recipients of their donations.
This is so right. IT HAS TO STOP!!! NOW!!! 🤬
Thoughts and prayers don't save lives from mass killers.
First they created a national registry for all the guns. Then they took the guns away from the Jews. Then they moved all the Jews into the ghetto. Then they started exterminating them. Some of us read history and it makes us choose not to make the same mistake twice. What will you do when Trump declares a military coup and the entire electorate is unarmed?
Can you please make that the message on my voice mail?
Right. On.
tragic accident ‼️ uich.cc/5eR2QNJBPa3
