Brain Sediment
If elected I will not serve.
Paula would win every debate because not only would she make everyone laugh, she'd never stop talking and they'd give up and go home. 🙂
*enunciate may be even better.
HARRIS POUNDSTONE 24!
Sensing a Pat Paulsen vibe for some reason 😉
Is Murray Garwood a name you often use for room reservations while on tour, PAULA? 😉 Works for me! #PoundstoneAndCatsForVP2024
That's too bad because I'd vote for you!
Annunciate?
ENUNCIATE. "Many people mix up annunciate and enunciate, but they have different meanings. Annunciate means to announce something formally or officially. It's about making a public statement. On the other hand, enunciate refers to the way you pronounce words clearly and distinctly."
Mark Kelly
…
I just realized I’m coming to Edmonds, Washington on Friday, Nov. 8. Get your tickets at paulapoundstone.com
That's NOVEMBER 8!
Got mine. That venue, Edmonds Center for the arts, is great.
I know the vibe is better in Western WA, but please come to Spokane!
I need to visit Washington, or you need to visit Buffalo, NY!
I'll be there.
Edmonds is Rick Steves country 🙁 Should be plenty of high quality 'oregano'
Hopefully there will be much jubilation three nights after we send the convicted felon packing for good.
Looking to pass on our tickets as we got mixed up in schedule, not really looking for anything above the original price just want my money back or a lil below face value.
Do you have aarp discount?
I'll shout it from the rooftops. I'm gonna be in:
HUNTINGTON, NY—The Paramount—Fri., Aug., 9
PROVINCETOWN, MA—Town Hall—Sat., Aug., 10
MADISON, WI—Barrymore Theatre—Sat., Aug. 17
Go to paulapoundstone.com for tix for a night of laughs. Can someone help me help me down?
loved seeing you in skagit, please come back
Asheville-/Greenville ?
Do have the right insurance to be up on a roof? Lol Knock 'em dead Paula! I'd say break a leg, but a woman your age would take forever to heal.
Come to Richmond VA!!!
Lewis, the kitten, doesn’t know manners, yet.
Lewis is a foodie in the most meaningful way!
The expressions of the older denizens of the home are always fantastic in situations like these. One of my all time favorite personal pet photos is of a similar situation- established dog watching puppy with affront. Never gets old.
My son's kitten may need some etiquette lessons as well...
The other cats face is priceless!
Stepping in his plate! Good kitty!
Give me the right bowl of food and I may do this myself…
very similar to my special needs daughter and husband. So who is to judge manners
Lewis the Kitten has big plans!
The bowl is too deep for her to eat any other way!
But the bowl is bigger than he is! He's doing his best <3
I think Lewis needs extracatricular activities: www.youtube.com/shorts/2k3DrxrnC8Q
He’s lucky he’s so cute😄
Looks like me at the all you can eat pizza buffet...
MOM! Make it behave!!
And someone isn’t impressed
He has more manners than Vance
Is that Lewis Black?
Aww my son recently found a little black kitten on a hiway!
Oh the Youth of Today
To cute.
I iz so wittle, I needz to get in da dish to reach!
So darling.
From one Lewis to another, you'll get there buddy
Perhaps he needs a smaller bowl.
Forget about hot dogs and hot dog buns, why do pencils have so much lead and so little eraser? That's optomistic.
It only takes a little eraser to erase a lot of lead. Sorry, I know that’s not funny but true. Ok, let’s try this. Lead is slow and erasers are really fast. Let’s try this to be funny. Lead in a pencil is long and skinny. Erasers are fat and short. The lesson is…. Wait for it…. I’m thinking. Oh dang, never mind
Big novelty erasure has a huge lobby.
Why do the erasures only smear the pencil markings around?
Exactly!!!! I wonder the same thing.
Now I'm thinking about goddam hot dogs
Did someone say Erasure? I'm rubbing the page Everyday it's getting lighter This time I won't end up another victim of lead.
It’s not optimism. It’s a plot by “Big Eraser”!
And the eraser is useless.
What is a pencil?
Don't eat the lead Paula!
I get it 😁
Only you!
☝️😉 indeed.
Right?
HUNTINGTON, NEW YORK
The Paramount - Fri. Aug. 9
Get your tickets. I'm excited to be this close to the Throg's Neck Bridge.
Paula Poundstone Tickets Aug 09, 2024 Huntington, NY | Ticketmaster
www.ticketmaster.com
Buy Paula Poundstone tickets at the The Paramount in Huntington, NY for Aug 09, 2024 at Ticketmaster.She's definitely worth seeing!!
Want the breakdown on our judicial breakdown? None other than Prosecutor/Analyst/Broadcaster Andrew Weissmann is here to break it - and us - down! Plus, let’s air out those grievances in the traditional manner - it’s Mailbag! Family Dinner Edition. Listen wherever you get your pods!
nobodylistenstopaulapoundstone.com
Weissmann is the best!
Whoa! I'm so excited to listen!
Two of my favorite humans👍
OH MY GOD!! I HAVE THE HUGEST CRUSH ON THIS MAN! (Andrew….sorry, Adam.)
The lowdown on the breakdown?
Ahh! Andrew is my fave. Shall listen!
Make these Trucks. Get project 2025 known everywhere 3 different Topics
Make these Trucks. Get project 2025 known everywhere 3 different Topics
Make these Trucks. Get project 2025 known everywhere 3 different Topics
MAILBAG!!!!!
Because I don't have kids, I have more money to contribute to women running for office. And, my cats eat very well, thankyouverymuch.
Not cat ladies...glass breakers...
Wow. JD, so I have no direct stake in America either? How about those women who want children but can't conceive? Or women who have a baby but give it up for adoption? Do they have stake? Is the mere act of giving birth the criteria for having stake? I guess that eliminates all men! Ha! Perfect!
I am proud to be a cat lady, and I am not miserable in anyway. Most research shows that women who don't marry and have children are much happier than those that do. I have a long time partner and would marry him if he wanted to do so. I like my cat just fine.
Childless Cat Lady here!! Not miserable!
Gross gross gross gross gross. What about the couples who are not able to naturally conceive? And anyone who doesn’t want a child should not have one. No reason to add more traumatized people into this world.
I’d rather have a vice president who doesn’t say stupid stuff like this.
I believe the word you're looking for is 'choice'.
JD Wentworth! Miserable sad little man.
He is sick.
Her goes the stupid and mean comments because they ( especially him ) can’t debate the real issues. Bunch of bullies and cry babies ……
Gosh, imagine what he’d say if she had 5 children by 3 different fathers and was a felon.
Married 44 yrs with no kids. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
I bought the ebook, but I never read it. Now I wish I had a more flammable version.
Love it! Keep it coming Paula💙
He makes me feel like a miserable cat man.
If he hadn’t used that latex glove, Ohio would be overrun with sofas! What a douche!
Also worth nothing that he has floated the idea that people with children should have a larger say in elections than those with no kids. www.salon.com/2021/07/25/new-idea-gaining-steam-in-right-wing-circles-only-parents-should-be-able...
I thought being an American gave us a stake in America, JD. Silly me for thinking that.
He’s a mess!
Ummm, JD, speaking as a “childless cat lady”, I vote. I’m also a retired Critical Care RN, by way of saying college educated and worked for a living. I’m *also going to bring you a few feral cats so they can scratch your eyes out! 😂🤣🥂😂
I adore you, Paula! As I say, I’m grabbing my ballot with my 🐱.
JD can salute (because no way he can kiss it) my childless ass.
She has kids - she’s a step-mother. JD is an idiot. I don’t have kids, but I vote to protect this country for myself and ALL the kids from idiots like him.
This just energized a large group of women who might not have voted in November.
I’m at the car wash, so I’m looking in the soda machine carefully.
Any guys nearby packing heat?
Watch out for the lube rack, too!
There ain't no tellin' who you might meet A movie star or maybe even an Indian chief
🤔
AI has been infected your post
EAR BANDAGES!!!! #vote #VoteBlue #upanddowntheballot #Voterizer #its #a #cult
Vote blue! I love your dog.
They're so silly.
They probably had a table set up in the lobby selling them. SMH!
NOT EAR BANDAGES! They are Official DJT Ear Pillows sold by the MY PILLOW guy.
And from the people who called masks for public health "face diapers." Yup...
#itsacult. #Project2025
Hilarious 😂
PROVINCETOWN, MA
Town Hall--Sat., Aug. 10
It's always good to get back to the place wear I know I could buy a penis shaped chocolate. Get your tickets. Get your laughs. tickets.payomet.org/eventperformances.asp?evt=835
It’s an equal opportunity town. There are vajayjay shaped chocolates, too. 
The algorithm is spot on today. The post before this was Yoko Ono "singing" Sexual Healing
There's a venue large enough for your many fans in Provincetown?
Due to family function that was shifted we would not be able to make it there. So we are releasing our tickets, If interested please message me. And like my comment
😬😵💫
MADISON, WISCONSIN
Barrymore Theatre--Sat., Aug. 17
Go to paulapoundstone.com for tickets. Trump doesn't know what he's talking about. Madison is fantastic!
He was talking about Milwaukee (he was wrong about there too); also our Governor is a Democrat (saddled with a gerrymandered legislature) that was previously the head of Dept of Education (though the former gov and legislature pulled every dirty trick they could from allowing him to be sworn in and do his job) and a teacher before that.
I’m about to tell ‘em in Mount Vernon, Washington.
perfect chair... i mean, today in history we reached for the stars ... and today, you sat on stars.... and you are a star! hey, see how that works! well, clearly.... I am not the professional comedian here. hope it was a brilliant evening.
That’s a gorgeous chair that needs a good stream cleaning.
You were great! You need to come back in the spring for the tulips and the rabbits! 😉
Hope you have a great show Paula! I've missed you again....😑
It was a great show! Thank you Paula
You were fabulous, Paula! Come back! For the Tulip Festival!
Mt. Vernon is a great little town, and that chair proves it!
You tell ‘em Paula ! You tell’em real good !
Once upon a time this chair had an idea. Bet it was tasteful back then. Stained now sadly. Too many sat in it with ill thoughts?
Great show!
I'm so fucking embarrassed. And I dont even work there anymore. I hope those assholes treated you right.
Again? You were great last time!
That’s not a very comfy chair.
I think it's the best chair yet.
Happy you are in my hood
This screams El Cheapo
Welcome back to Washington State Paula!
If you can, get some Rainier cherries while you are here! 😋🍒
Please come back to Spokane, WA!!
Darn, only 50 miles away! I must ok pay more attentionl
I thought your rider specifically said that the chair must be aqua blue, not navy.
Please, do tell ‘em! ❤️💙❤️
Did it come with a wizard's hat and a magic wand?
A chair fit for a star!
I like stars. But, I like more cushioning.
Join me in a room ful of laughter;
PROVINCETOWN, MA—Provincetown Town Hall—Sat. Aug. 10
MADISON, WISCONSIN—Barrymore Theatre—
Sat. Aug. 17
HONOLULU, HAWAII—Hawaii Theatre—Sat., Aug. 24
Go to paulapoundstone.com for tickets. The Hallmark channel is showing Christmas movies.
I'll be there! WooHoo
PTown!! Love the Cape, it was my one constant for decades.
Due to family function that was shifted we would not be able to make it there. So we are releasing our tickets, If interested please message me. And like my comment
Yay. PNP. Paula-N-PTown
There were lots of Trump speech items that sounded a lot like, "It will disappear by Easter like a miracle." He kept saying he would fix things, and it would solve the problem fast. There are few problems in this big difficult world that can be solved fast. HE LIES.
He had 4 years to fix things and all he did was make more chaos.
He rambled on for 92 minutes, spewing all sorts of nonsense. Fact checkers were being carried out on stretchers.
He didn't fix anything on his first ride what makes anyone think it'll be any different this time? Except it will be much worse.
It's unbelievable how bad he is
If he was so great the last time, why didn’t they re-elect him and we would almost be done with him instead of having another 4 years of misery with him
He lies and they keep believing it! 😳
Still waiting for his perfect health care plan that he promised us 2 weeks before the last eelction.
You can always tell when he's lying...his mouth is moving!!👹
He wasn’t promoting unity. He wants uniformity.
Major newspapers headlines reporting that DT was talking unity. Was it the same speech we saw?
He rarely says anything about how he would solve or fix anything
Lying is what he does best. During that longest speech there ever was!!! he even rickrolled them, and they didn't even notice!
Well, he does wield that hurricane- negating Sharpie…
I remember he was going to solve Afghanistan on day 1....he left it for the next administration to clean up.
Oh, please pay no attention to the man behind the voice behind the curtain. He makes so-called promises, prophecies, pronouncements all the time which never come to anything - and then will be denied later, even when they are played back to him.
I’m currently listening to this: www.audible.com/pd/169660317X?source_code=ASSORAP0511160006&share_location=library_overflow
He’s all about the quick-fix and the easy solution. For complex problems there are often quick solutions that are easy and wrong.
He’s chronic with the lying! 😡
He is truly a dope …..
He lies, they know it, they love him for it.
Why ride the crazy train a second time??🥴
When is Mexico paying for that wall?
Oh, Paula. What are we gonna do????
I just finished re-reading The Handmaids Tale. This time around it seems like a republican instruction manual.
What a surprise.
Donald Trump gave support to an attempted overturn of our government on Jan. 6. One hundred-forty police officers were injured. Additionally, he lied and said a doctor told him the ear bleeds more than any other part of the body.
Not to mention he was “injured” by teleprompter glass, not any projectile from a firearm. 🙄
I've had my ears pierced 3 times. Not one drop of blood. I still think this was staged.
He lies a lot!
That was a painful deja vu, time suckage, held hostage kind of night. And it cut into my local news and talk shows. I also have a bad stomach ache now. Excuse me.
Now that he's got his ear clipped, he needs to be neutered & removed.
And there wasn’t any blood on his hand after he touched his ear.
The ear bleeds more than other part of the body in pigs.
Take some nail clippers to his mushroom. Then see if he feels the same way.
hE's wearing a big bandage over his whole ear for a little nick of a boo boo which stopped bleeding the nite it happened!
Such a loser he is
Pierced ears dont bleed! Drumpf.
And that was never proven.
Lots of lies...chefpedley
Never Forget!
PAULA POUNDSTONE do some research for yourself on Jan. 6.
Vote blue!!
He gives Evil B$@#%&rds everywhere a bad name.
I still can’t believe that an individual who actively participated in a violent attempt to overthrow our government is allowed to run for any office, let alone President 😳🤷♀️🤬
And he's promised to give pardons to the people found guilty of attacking officers that day.
What!? Trump lied? Hard to believe.
I've had my ears pierced 3 times. Not one drop of blood. I still think this was staged.
You sexually and physically abused your five underage adopted and foster children, sicko.
What a dick.
"We have put together, I think, the most extensive and inclusive voter fraud network in the history of American politics." ---- Joe Biden.
The man basically got his ear pierced.
Interacting with the audience is what Poundstone does best — it is what she is known for. “Little biographies of audience members come out from which I set my sails,” she said. “I never exactly know what I’m going to talk about. ... I like when there’s lots of surprises.”
Poundstone will be performing at 7:30 p.m. Saturday at the Lincoln Theatre.
Popular comedian comes to the Lincoln Theatre
www.goskagit.com
MOUNT VERNON — Comedian Paula Poundstone, known for her crowd interaction, will be live at the Lincoln Theatre this Saturday.Please,please come back to St Johnsbury, VT we love you!
Will be there with bells on! (I will try to keep them quiet.)
I'll see you there!
I can't wait!!!!!
When are you coming to the Opera House in Traverse City?
There’s a Mount Vernon in just about every state. Sometimes more than one. I wish I knew which Lincoln theater what city and what state this was. Even just a ZIP Code would be handy.
I just found out she's going to be at Playhouse Square in Cleveland in February. Guess where I'll be?
I nearly wet myself when she took off on my partners engineering job developing catheters.
Fill your future with laughs:
MOUNT VERNON, WASHINGTON—Lincoln Theatre—Sat., July 20
HUNTINGTON, NEW YORK—The Paramount—Fri.,
Aug. 9
PROVINCETOWN, MA—Town Hall—Sat., Aug., 10
MADISON, WI—Barrymore Theatre—Sat., Aug., 17
Go to paulapoundstone.com for tickets.
Two more days!!!! I'm so excited 😊 to see you in Mount Vernon WA
So bummed I can’t be there. Have fun for me. 😔
Austin Texas Please!!!!!
Wow, you’re jumping all around !
See you tonight!
Wish I could make it, but Washington is a bit of a drive for me. Like three days each way.
I just did set of: 63, 32, 44, 40, 43, 25, 43, 40 + 40 rope jumps
in the words of Chevy Chase on SNL decades ago, I was told there would be no math
Just listened to you on Neil Brennan's podcast, Blocks with NB. You were a dream guest. My favorite episode and I have seen most of them.
Did Hans and Franz come by to pomp…you up?
I… did not.
I tripped walking into an elevator.
How could you count while jumping rope?!?!? I’d be so out of breath
Hey. You look great. How do you feel...?
I’m exhausted just thinking about it
Good! We need you in tip top shape for the end of America.
You GO girl!!
True story: I was sitting on the bus and a very jumpy guy up front was bothering the driver with constant chatting. He says "I don't know why they say it is hard to quit cocaine. I've done it dozens of times!" Now your post makes me think he should just think of it as a bunch of sets.
What color is the bus driver’s hat?
DAMN, you go, grrl!
Dear God Paula, WHY?!
I don't get it.
Post video as proof ... ha.ha.
What is 17 cantaloupes?
Did not.
I got winded reading about it. 😉
Paula, are feeling more fit and energized? Feeling a difference?
Are you OK?
Why?
Where's my Paula Poundstone Secret Decoder Pin?
These^ are my new lotto numbers.🤣
Go Paula!
When Trump was in office he wanted to have peaceful protesters shot, but he was told he couldn't. Now, the Spreme Court says he #VoteBlueeblue up and down the ballot.
And if there are judges or city attorneys or district attorneys or sheriffs on the ballot, do a little research if need be and VOTE. Same for school districts, etc.
Blue and proud of it!!
Amen! Vote blue no matter who!
Mom switched from "R" to "D" before the 2016 election, after being registered in the former category as long as I could remember, probably because my late father, who passed in 1991, was in the former category. Like me, she found the orange pumpkin annoying enough to switch parties. Unfortunately, she passed in June of last year at age 80 after a colon cancer surgery. If she hadn't, like me, she'd have voted Blue this year.
Yes I will! And I love that you say so!
Sure will vote blue!
We gotta get people to vote !
If you’re not scared, you’re not paying attention!
Vote Blue!!!
Yes. Very yes.
Blue all the way!!!
Vote blue! Up down sideways!!
Get your facts straight.
Yes
And people wonder when he called for violence. This amnesia is dangerously nutty.
Utter pap!
Vance says we should be like Kyle Rittenhouse
VOTE BLUE!!!!!!!
🤦♀️
And he DID have peaceful protesters tear-gassed out of the way so he could have his photo op!! 😡
Here’s a super helpful resource for figuring out who deserves your progressive vote down-ballot: bluevoterguide.org/
All blue Everywhere and EVERYDAY!!!! Vance is dangerous!!!!
Peaceful protesters?
You sexually and physically abused your five underage adopted and foster children, sicko.
We gotta do whatever we can to keep that a-hole out of the White House!!! B L U E!!!
